Being blind is what I want for my future... I wanna be blind, I want God to be my guiding stick. If you would have asked me what I wanted for my future before I was christian I would say I wanted to be a mother and have a perfect cute husband and have a great job which payed a lot... But God changes the way you see yourself, I see myself as a beautiful young lady that wants to serve the Lord and I see myself blind to the future. I don't want to be in control anymore, I'm giving up my past present and future to God... Its an amazing experience to forget about yourself. Its not about me anymore its about God and my neighbors. I stopped caring and worrying about myself I'm rich in faith and I'm here to bring my neighbors to Jesus. Trusting for me is hard. Trusting Jesus is easy for me because I know that he loves me and wants the best for me, but trusting my fellow brothers and sisters, now that's hard. I've grown up knowing I cant trust anyone. I can only count 5 people that I do trust. that's sad really really sad. I'm going to have to change that. I need to trust more people. I'm trusting Jesus with my heart and I know he's not going to hurt me.I'll continue to pray about that... God loves me and he will guide me well.. sure every now and then I'll stumble and fall but that guide stick will always be there for me to lean on to get up and I thank God for letting me lean on him when I cant get up myself. God is good! <3

I'm new

The last time i posted something i was a depressed girl that cut every two days... I was lonely and insecure. i'm so different now.... I found the love i was desperately looking for, for all these miserable months i was looking for someone that would want to love me.I found that person. I found Jesus. I begged him to love me. That next morning i woke up and i felt beautiful. The scars were gone, not physically but emotionally. I had hope for the future. I was not alone. and since then I've been getting to know him. I know now that he would never hurt me. He only does things for the good of those who love him. I was so lost before i believed, i was that lost sheep and my shepherd found me through all those thorns and bushes.
now that i'm filled with the holy spirit i want everyone to have what i have. I want everyone to feel loved and i want to love everyone. There are so many things i want to do to help people.I want to help people that are lost like i was and help them find love. Oh how good God is! I have a friend her name is Harini and she is a new christian and while watching her grow in faith i cant help but feel like i should nurture her for what is to come up ahead. I am so happy for her. she gives off Gods love so whenever i don't feel Gods love i go to her and ask her how her faith in Christ is going, she lights up and tells me her problems and how much she loves her new father and i feel God near, i see his miracles in her and so many others.
I thank God everyday for saving me. I love him so so much and finally i would like to introduce myself as a re-born daughter of God, Stephanie.!!!! <3